Hey everyone, we realized recently that we talk a lot about consent for physical RP (which is important), but not a lot about consent for conflict and CvC! Consent and clear communication are key to making sure that everyone is having fun when character conflict comes up, so let's talk about it - and always remember the acronym FRIES when it comes to consent!
People often have different definitions of what constitutes conflict, and what requires a check in. If you aren’t sure if someone will be bothered by the way you are engaging with them, it is always best to ask. Just because it would be fine (or even fun) for you to be approached in a certain way doesn’t mean it is the same for everyone else. Once you have developed enough of a relationship with someone to understand their fun (often by having a number of these kinds of conversations with them over time) checking in beforehand isn’t always needed, but it doesn’t hurt! If you don’t know someone well enough to be certain, it is ALWAYS safer to check in before engaging.
Not everyone wants to engage in RP that involves conflict or CvC, and that’s ok! Some people want to engage with it sometimes, but not all the time. Some people want it most of the time, but are occasionally having a bad day and might not want it right then. Because of this it’s very important to check with your fellow players before these types of play occur, as well as after. It is also important to note that it is primarily the responsibility of the aggressor to make sure that their target is doing alright afterwards. If the conflict between two characters or groups is mutually hostile, then it is everyone’s responsibility to make sure that everyone else is ok. Situations that are going to involve extended conflict should include regular check-ins.
It is also important to note that choosing not to consent to CvC or conflict RP does not mean that a player or character is free to do anything they want without consequences. If someone approaches you to have a conversation about future conflict and you don’t want it, that’s fine! However, there should also be a conversation about WHY they approached you about the conflict to begin with. Maybe they just thought it would be fun for both of you and were mistaken, in which case the two of you can simply move on without issue - but it’s also possible that they are trying to respond to something in your RP that makes them feel like conflict between the characters is the next appropriate step.
A common example is when Character A is (often, but not always, due to a Fracture) behaving in ways that put themselves or others in danger, and Character B decides that the best way to prevent that is to knock out, mangle, or otherwise incapacitate Character A for their own safety.
Being mangled or unconscious for long periods of time is often not fun on an OOG level, so when Player A may reasonably choose not to consent to this - however there should still be a discussion about what is fun for Player B. If Player B does not want to spend excessive time, resources, or emotional labor trying to wrangle Character A, they should bring it up in the conversation! The fun of BOTH players is important here, and it’s important that they work together to make sure that they are both having fun - asking for consent for conflict isn’t simply a one-sided conversation in which the target gets to say yes or no and that’s the end of it, especially if there are OOG reasons why the aggressor is trying to initiate in this way.
There are many ways that the above example could be resolved - maybe Player A helps Player B come up with a way to keep their character occupied until the Fracture (if that is the cause) can be resolved. Maybe Player B agrees to pretend not to notice that Character A has snuck off so that it isn’t their responsibility anymore. Player B could agree to let Character A do as they please, but with the condition that they will not help get them out of danger that they end up in.
Another example is social or political conflict. The election for Mayor of Barker Meadow is coming up, and people will be campaigning against each other! If you intend on running a smear campaign against another candidate, you should check in with the other player about it first!
Situations like these are most often easily handled in the moment (with check-ins afterwards) between the players in question and do not require the presence of a Guide, but if you intend to engage in CvC that is intended to result in loss of infection you should always make sure to bring a Guide. Even in the Wasteland, it is HIGHLY recommended that you bring a Guide if you intend to kill a player character! Speaking of the Wasteland - just because you don’t need consent for CvC in the Wasteland, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider the fun of your fellow players before doing so. The Wasteland isn’t intended to circumvent good communication and post-conflict check-ins (again, we ALWAYS recommend that you check-in after conflict), but is instead meant to be a place where conflict and CvC can happen spontaneously for people who find that to be fun!
On a related topic, sometimes people don’t want to check in because they don’t want to interrupt the flow of a scene. While this is understandable, it is worth remembering that check-ins with someone who is doing well and having fun should be very quick and non-intrusive and if someone is NOT having fun then it is absolutely worth breaking the scene in order to check in. Players are always more important than the scene or roleplay, and making sure that everyone is alright and having a good time should take priority over preserving maximum immersion.
Most character conflict can be fun if both parties communicate about their intentions, check-in after the fact, and respect each other's boundaries. The vast majority of hurt feelings are the result of assumptions being made by one or more people. Having a clear conversation about what you want out of interactions with another player or character can help prevent a lot of issues before they happen. In the event that you and another player are having a hard time coming to an agreement about how to engage in conflict together, it is possible that you are simply not a good fit for this sort of play together and it would be best to avoid it.
If you have any questions or are having difficulty resolving a conflict situation, please feel free to reach out to a staff member for help. Our priority is making sure that everyone is safe and is having fun.
Article by Sarah K.